He Reminded Me..

Yesterday, while I was working on my new book and suffering from a severe lack of inspiration. My friend called me out of the blues, unfortunately a child was playing with the horn of the car downstairs and it interfered with the first 20 seconds of the call. Usually I would roll my eyes in dissatisfaction but we ended up laughing for no reason.

A majority of the conversation ended up being about heights and I said “I am terrified of heights” and I remembered all my confrontations with height that made me shake to my knees. I remembered my most recent one when I had to lean outside my window from the 4th floor and I felt my legs turn to overcooked indomie.

He said “Maybe you are afraid of cockroach oh and rat but Remi, you are not afraid of heights” “You flew off a mountain 500M high, remember?” “No… I forgot” I responded.

Last year, paragliding was on my bucket list. Not because I am an adventure freak (which I just might be) but because I am a growth freak, I knew that heights scared me so I decided to do something outrageous, something that would bring me face to face with my fear, something that would make me conquer it once and for all. You only grow when you face and challenge your fears not by avoiding them. Jumping off the mountain represented something very significant to me and 4 months later I had forgotten.

It is the 22nd of January, so many new year resolutions have turned to smoke. You are discouraged, you are tired, you feel defeated. Your job is stressing you, you work so hard and yet it seems as though you are never appreciated, your husband has not noticed the new dress and you have worn it twice, your relationship issues are on a downward spiral, in one sentence, you have lost inspiration.

But my darling, you lost inspiration, only because you forgot. You think you can never lose weight, only because you forgot, you think you can never be disciplined, only because you forgot, you think you can never be consistent, only because you forgot, you are afraid of failing, only because you forgot.

I dropped everything I was doing to write this article, to remind someone that it can be done. It is okay to be afraid but it is not okay to stop trying. Look back to anything you have ever achieved in life, from the big things like staying up all night to study, to breastfeed the baby, to preparing for a presentation, to getting the family ready, look back at how many hours you put in every weekend to go to the market to cook to the small things, like always greeting your annoying and undeserving colleague. If you can do these things, you can also lose weight, you only need to be inspired and to apply the same principle there.

If as a Muslim you can pray 5 times a day without wavering for decades, you can lose weight, if as a Christian you pray everyday since you can remember, you can lose weight. Just apply the same principle to every area in your life that needs the type of change that only comes from consistency and perseverance

The mistake which we usually make, is expect that we will only be afraid once. I thought that the unforgettable experience would knock out fear from my life for good but 4 months later, when the fear of heights came, I forgot.

The mistake which we usually make, is expect that inspiration will last forever. Seek inspiration, seek to be inspired. If you can’t inspire yourself, if you don’t have someone to laugh with for no just cause, then get off bbm, instagram, go to youtube and look for inspirational and exciting messages.

Today started off very slow for me, but as I type this message, I have concluded the first 20 pages of my upcoming book, I had an epiphany and recorded a video and of course scheduled this post.

So maybe you have lost some weight and now moving forward, fear has gripped you. Find inspiration in yourself and remember what you forgot

Acquired Taste

When I discuss my diet or meal plans with people, they don’t need to respond. I see it in their face.

When they respond, it is mostly;

“I can’t do without…” “I can’t eat that”

Today, I am not dealing with your self imposed limiting belief, I want to talk to you about Acquired taste.

Once upon a time, count me out from eating a salad. What??? Ewww! Eww!! Eww!

Anything raw like… tomatoes..carrots… Na! Na! Na!

If I ate an excuse for a salad, be sure that 80% was salad cream.

So what changed for me?

What changed for the thousands of people out there who have experienced change?

We learnt to love or at least like the new stuff.

Trust me sweetheart, no body was born loving Eba, Fufu or Dodo.

If you were raised loving all the Healthy stuff you would find any unhealthy stuff disgusting too.

You have to be open to new experiences, you have to keep trying.

It took me about 6 months to appreciate or even enjoy the taste of majority of the Healthy stuff but that did not stop me from eating them every day.

That you don’t like how something tastes is not a strong enough excuse to stay unhealthy and put yourself at risk.

Eating Healthy is non negotiable and if it is to you, then you have given illness and disease a warm welcome into your life.

Practice makes perfect, start small and grow from there.

Stop trying to eat your cake and have it.

Try to remember other areas in your life where you had to compromise for you own good. When you had to quit a job, or a relationship, it did not feel good at first but with time, it got better.

That is acquired taste, now apply this same principle to your Health and give yourself a shot at a more fulfilling life, despite the present circumstances.

 

 

 

 

 

Liminality

There was a time in my weight loss journey that I could not stop trying to lose weight.

Not because I wanted to keep going, but because I was stuck in a place called Liminality.

I hated it, I had tried so much and put in so much effort but it seemed that everything I was trying just worked however and whenever it liked.

One day, my boobs were shrinking, the other week, my ass was shrinking, then I developed acne from hell, nothing looked good on me. I would wear clothes that should normally fit me but my arms were still as large as my thighs, it felt like my thighs were never going to go down. All the things I thought made me beautiful were gradually disappearing.

My clothes looked awful on me, nothing I bought was the right fit, it was either too tight or too big, the more I tried to speed up my process, the more it seemed like I would be stuck there forever.

What on earth was going on? I kept focusing on all the people who had reached their goal and how good they looked and how proportionate their bodies were. At a point even my head looked bigger then my body… I didn’t get it. I started this journey to feel good, but I was feeling worse.

I knew I could not add the weight back, I did not want that, I did not know if my body was ever going to corporate with my process! I did not start this journey to become a slimmer Amoeba, shapeless and scary!

I am sure you are wondering what on earth “Liminality” means. It is the same question I asked when I heard it for the first time.

I was attending a Tedx event in Brazil and a scientist who was speaking named the subject of her speech “Liminality” She said in simple terms, it is the place between who you were and where you hope to be.

A lot of my clients, when they start losing weight, have panic attacks. “Remi, my hands are not reducing” “I am beginning to look like Johnny Bravo” “My neck is now too long”

In times like this, I am so happy I was a fat girl, who experienced the same fears, the same uncertainties, because now I had my story, my experience, I could confidently encourage them, that liminality was a part of the process and it is only temporary.

During your weight loss journey, you will experience many things, you need to be patient. If any one ever told me, my face would ever look the way it looks now or my body would ever look the way it now looks now… I would have doubted, I doubted then but I kept going because I did not have a choice.

I just want to encourage someone reading this, enjoying liminality. It is temporary and when you scale through, you will have a story to share that might save someone’s life.

Self Reliance

Don’t blame your emotional incompetence on anyone’s emotional inability…

If you want to ever lose weight or achieve anything significant in your life then you need to ensure you build your self reliance muscle.

Nobody is under any obligation to save you.

Not your spouse, not your parents and not your kids.

I mean it is amazing to have support. Some days you have ZERO ginger and you just need that pat on the back to make it through but many times, the tap on the back is absent. So what do you do? Suspend your life until it comes?

It is just life, no matter how much you try, you will only be priority in your own life. Think about it, no matter how much you like me, you can not like me more than you like yourself.

No matter how much you like me, you will not always be there for me, no matter how much you like me, if I am sad and in need of a hug, you might just prefer to hug your significant other at that time. It is not because you are a bad person, we just have different priorities.

A lot of people depend on others for emotional fuel, for motivation, for encouragement, they demand it as though they paid them a salary.

I am not saying abandon your relationships. I am saying, receive whatever they give you, receive whatever love you get but never, NEVER depend on another person so much for support that you become useless in their absence.

Let whatever you receive be extra, but be the main ingredient in your life. Build yourself up, develop your self reliance muscle.

Three ways that you can develop your self reliance muscle are;

  1. Affirmation – Draw up a list of positive affirmations to get you pumped up and excited about life. Recite them daily like you mean them, feel them, breathe them! e.g “I am strong and powerful” “I am a conqueror” “I am an overcomer” When I talk to people, I usually hear a lot of negative self talk. “I can’t..” “I don’t think… I can” etc What good have you gained from that?
  2. Self trust – Develop your self trust, for many years you keep saying “I will start tomorrow” “I will do this” and you never did. So you no longer believe the promises you made to yourself. This has a way of negating any plans you eventually make because your subconscious sees it as an empty promise “after all, she says this every Sunday” One of the ways to develop self trust is by making promises to yourself and keeping them. But how can you do that, when you never comply??
  3. Set small goals – One of the reasons you never get around to doing what needs to be done is the mere fact that your goals are too big for your mind to grasp. Help your mind, by setting small goals and accomplishing them, this develops your self trust and it also gives your mind permission to expand. This week, ensure you drink 2 litres of water a day, let that be your only goal, do all you can and once you accomplish it, you begin to believe in yourself again. Keep setting small goals and accomplishing, soon the goals will be bigger and then you would have built emotional stamina. It may seem like a small thing but it will bring great results.

In 2016, may you discover strength in yourself you never knew existed

Stop Self Medicating – Part 1

Any time I have the chance, I tell people, stop buying products! Hire a coach.

With a coach you can go back and forth, with a coach you have supervision, you are accountable, with a coach you get clarity, with a coach you stay motivated, with a coach you set better and more realistic goals. The advantages of working with a coach are endless. Especially when you are looking to be Healthy and not just lose weight. Like I always say, Slim is not always Healthy.

People spend so much money buying products that focus on the short term. Lose weight in 9 days. Then you drink juices and shakes, lose 10kg and 2 days after you are done with your quick fix, you have added 5 kg.

Most people have zero idea what to do after. They have not learnt how to make healthier choices, they have not learnt how to build stamina, they have not dealt with the issues that caused them to be fat to begin with. The only thing you are telling yourself from this behavior is that, you can eat as you like, once you are done…you can buy a quick pill to steal your appetite.

Now if all you care about is losing weight, then this post is not for you. This post is for those who want to live Healthy, Happy & Better lives. Those who want to lose weight, learn how to stay consistent, learn how to build stamina, this post is for people who want a Total Makeover.

In 2016, do what you can to hire a coach, hiring a coach is the only proven method that gives you a short cut.

I lost 40kg in 10months. Trust me, if I had a coach, I would have lost it in less time.

I have clients who lost 30kg in 3 months. Because they had me and they bypassed all the mistakes I made during my journey.

I was my own guinea pig, trying and failing and that does not need to be your story.

Stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before you and stop medicating

What is Your State of mind?

I am so sad

I am so fat
I am so weak
I am tired
I can’t make it
It is too hard
I am going to die
I was born to be fat
I am not fat
I am just big boned
gosh… just typing that out is giving me headaches and bad vibes.
For many of you reading this, it is your daily mantra. You recite, chant, confess and affirm this words everyday.
Look at the people around you who have accomplished significance, have you ever heard them speak this language?
The language losers speak? “The Sorry Ass Album, Track name: The Pity Party”
Your body will only go where your mind allows it.
So if you keep singing I can’t, I can’t! your body will have no choice but to believe it.
My clients who have gotten the best results, woke up, called me and said “Remi, today I am going to finish my work out” “Remi, I am  working out, I am tired oh but I am going to finish”
My clients who have gotten the least results, woke up and said to themselves and whoever cared to listen “I don’t think I can make it” “I am too tired” “Are you sure I can ever be slim”
That is why it is very KEY during our weight loss programs that we help re-program your state of mind. We care about the quality of your mind, that is the only way to lose weight, keep it off and live healthy.
The quality of your mind is the most important thing to a fulfilling life.
You have to protect your state of mind! Like your life depended on it, because it does!
One tip to help?
In 2016 hon? Watch your tongue

Evolve Or Die

It is the 4th of January 2016, as you can already tell, time waits for no one.

Just the other day we celebrated the new year and we made promises to ourselves and to our families and here we are, 4 days later and you are still waiting for all the stars to align before you do the necessary.

Life will go on whether or not you are ready, life will not wait for you to be in the mood, life will not wait for all things to magically fall into place, life will not wait for you to get your salary, life will not wait for your debtors to pay you, life will not wait for your child to grow, life will not wait for your significant other to be nice to you. You know why? Because the universe knows that where you are right now, is good enough to start. What you have is good enough to start with.

Stop giving excuses for why you are yet to begin, “oh, my husband forgot to buy my gym clothes” “oh, they are yet to pay me salary” “oh, I will start when my baby is 6 months” “oh, I will focus on my health after valentine” “oh, I will start when hamattan ends” “I will start when I move to an estate” “oh, I will start when the fuel scarcity ends”

Since 2005, you have been waiting and here you are still doing what you did before and expecting different results. Stop planning as though you can put a pause on time and press play when it is convenient for you.

All the people you know and admire, who you claim you want to be like started and kept going irrespective of the sun or snow.

We did it not because all was well or because all was convenient, we did it because we decided to do it. It was not about how we felt but about what was necessary.

We don’t have supernatural powers, we felt and still feel pain, but we did it anyways.

Listen to me well, this is 2016 and if you decide that you are still going to be ruled by your emotions or by any inconvenience that may or most likely will arise, then you are not ready for any form of significant change.

In 2016, you have only two options,

Evolve or die, what side are you on?

Where will you be in 2050?

In 2015, you thought it made sense to just buy unhealthy meals over healthier meals. It’s cheaper and more filling.

It made sense to buy a new phone, or new laptop, move into a bigger apartment than it was to register at a gym or hire a coach.

It made sense to drop by the fast food or order in than it was to drive to the market to buy fresh food.

We all have just one life to live. So it amazes me when people push the most important thing in life aside, their Health.

I don’t know about you but I would rather invest in something expensive to keep me Healthy than having to deal with consequence of terminal illness in the future.

When you are ill, the car you drive, where you live, how many phones you have acquired will not matter to you or anyone else.

Stop treating yourself like a secondary element. Stop treating yourself like there is a potion you can drink that makes you immortal, make your life count.

Don’t you want to live a long Healthy life?

Don’t you want to have a safe delivery?

Don’t you want to care for your kids without medical assistance?

Don’t you want to have the stamina to run after your kids and stop sitting on the bench like a couch potato?

Don’t you want to see your kids get married?

Don’t you want to see your grandkids?

Don’t you want to wake up in the morning feeling strong and fresh, without thinking you have to drink one medicine or the other?

Do you really think that because your parents are healthy you will automatically inherit health without having to pay the price?

Do you really things that all the good things you want in life will come by praying and fasting alone? You will do dry fast for years and see no results if you do not do the necessary.

All the things you chose over your Health in 2015, will they save you if you develop a terminal illness? Will instagram matter? Will the Brazilian Hair matter? Will the new iphone matter?

During my short time here, I have seen loved ones die from diseases that were and are preventable. In essence, they died from misplaced priorities.

You have the opportunity to save yourself today, to make things right, to make the right decisions for you and your family.

For some of you, in 2015 you spent between 100,000 to 1,000,000 on things that temporarily gratified you. Really, sit down and look at all the things you spent money on, thinking they were important.

In 2016, invest in your health, your state of well being, make the sacrifice for you.

Go through the pain now, so that 10 years, 20 years, 40 years from now, you can look back to the day you started and thank God for a second chance.

You have just one life.

Where do you want to be in 2050?

Start Now.

 

Please…forgive yourself

For a very long time, I was very comfortable not knowing my weight. I mean, the scale was in the room, I walked passed it everyday. Even when I put it out of sight, I still knew where to find it.

I did not want to know my weight, when I weighed 101kg, my clothes were fitted, now my clothes did not fit without a girdle, and it barely fit. What would I weigh now? Gosh… I didn’t want to know.. I did not know how I would take it.

One day, I summoned the courage to check my weight, woke up, on an empty stomach, stood naked on the scale and it sat comfortably at 110kg.

You know, even though I am no longer 110kg, just remembering the feeling that day still makes me feel a little sick.

When did I get to 110kg?

How did I get to 110kg?

How did I let myself get to 110kg?

ONE HUNDRED AND TEN?!

I was 80kg a couple of months ago?

What normal human being lets herself add 20kg in 2 and half months?

What was I eating?

Why could I not control myself?

Why did I let this happen?

From a size 14… to size 22? Why? How? When?

For God sake… Why me!

I ate the same food as everyone else, why I’m I the only one struggling?

If you are like me when I was fat, I spent a lot of time and emotional energy angry at myself and all the decisions I made.

Angry that I was the way I was and angry that I was clueless about getting back into shape.

Angry that I would try losing weight and angry that I was not strong enough to stick to a plan that would eventually make me so happy.

What on earth was wrong with me? Is this a curse?!

One of the reasons why you might never win in this weight loss battle is unforgiveness.

Unforgiveness is such a strong negative emotion, anger is such a strong negative emotion, strong enough to cause psychological paralysis.

Do you remember the last time you were very angry at yourself? Do you remember the things you said to yourself? about yourself? How negative you sounded and how bitter you had become?

Do you remember how you engaged in self sabotaging behaviors when you basked in guilt? What good thing came from that place? None…

When it comes to moving forward especially with weight loss, which also applies to other areas of your life. You need to first accept your shortcomings, accept that you messed up, accept that your decisions or indecisions led you here and most importantly you need to forgive yourself.

We all make mistakes, we all make bad decisions, forgive yourself for not doing what you should have when you should have and give yourself a hug.

In 2016, before you attempt to do anything else, forgive yourself.

It’s never too late, right now is a good time. Life is now.

Tell yourself,

“I forgive myself for eating anyhow and anytime”

“I forgive myself for not working out”

“I forgive myself for blaming everyone else for myshortcomings”

“I forgive my for not taking responsibility for my actions and inactions”

“I forgive myself for not loving myself enough”

“I am forgiven”

Take a deep breath and be happy.

Forgiveness is the 1st step but is it enough?

I will tell you how to move on from forgiveness to progressive and sustainable weight loss in the Free E-Course “The Psychology of Weight Loss” out on the 6th of January.

You can ask questions, connect with us on Instagram @tmpacademy

or add us on BBM: 568CEDBE

 

 

 

 

The Psychology of Weight Loss

Welcome to 2016.
You may not like where you are right now as you read this. Your clothes are tight, you don’t like how you look, you don’t like how people see you, you are and don’t feel healthy, you keep trying to lose weight and you always end up wasting your money, time and emotional tank, this same tank that is almost empty.
You don’t enjoy going out anymore, it is too much work to find what to wear, too much work to explain to people that “that” new diet did not work for you, you don’t want to seem like the loser you actually are by telling your friends that…. the one year membership in 2015, you only went one weekend and never went back.
You are tired of pretending you are happy being fat, you are tired of pretending to be happy in your marriage, you don’t remember the last time your husband looked at you with desire, the last time you were actually comfortable enough with yourself to have real intimacy, you definitely remember your child asking why your tummy is so big, you are definitely tired of people asking you if you are pregnant, you are so so so tired of your husband complaining of your weight as though you were deaf, blind or happy about it.
You are tired, but then what?
It is time to come face to face with the truth. Where ever you are right now as you read this, is a direct result of the decisions you made, failed to make and excuses you allowed to lead your precious life.
You are not where you are because God is unkind to you, you are where you are because you chose to take the path of least resistance.
It is easier to eat when upset than do something productive, it is easier to stop the diet or exercise when it gets tough, it is easier to buy bigger clothes than finish the challenge with the girls, it is easier to buy Brazilian hair than it is to hire a coach, after all you are old enough, you don’t need anyone ‘bullying’ you around
I need you to remember one thing in 2016. Just the same way you chose the path that led you here, you can also chose to walk a new path that will lead you where your heart desires. No matter how ridiculous they may seem.
I lost 40kg, I have helped numerous families live Healthy and Happy Lives and I can tell you first hand that we achieved these goals not because we had magical powers, or because we had two heads, not because we are more special than you.
We all started from a place of weakness, self pity, self destruction and hopelessness, just like you. I did not know how to work out, I could not even work out, majority of my clients were the same.
So whether you need to lose 5kg, 10kg, 50kg or 100kg. I need you to remember that it is possible. No matter how many times you think you failed.
On the 6th of January, I am going to launching a free downloadable course titled “The Psychology of Weight Loss”
In this course I am going to be sharing power tips and strategies that anyone, anywhere can begin to do to begin to see remarkable and sustainable results in their weight loss journey.
Anyone who has lost weight and managed to keep it off knows, that your body will never go where your mind has not been. NEVER…
In this course, Ill show you how to force your body to submission and teach it to respect you and not food.
For more details on how you can download this course, follow us on instagram @tmpacademy. Send in your questions before the 3rd of January via BBM 568CEDBE, commenting below or email and if selected, it will be answered in the course.

Snatch Your Sexy Back!

A couple of months back, I came across @momswearheels on IG
All I saw was this heavily pregnant woman working out
I quickly reposted the video and asked all my clients to go watch it

Her story is inspiring and liberating

I buried myself on her page and I have been stalking her ever since.

Since her second baby Ariel arrived about a month ago, I thought it was time to reach out and ask for an interview, I was eager to know more and I know that there are so many others like me who felt the same.

She was kind enough to answer our questions.
Ariel featured in the video and Eliel’s voice too

I am fat… again :(

“I am fat again” those were Emilys exact words on Whatsapp. I was delighted to read those words. I am sure you are curious to know why. For some people, they need to be reminded how easily they can slip back into the place they thought they would never visit again.

overweight-woman-yellow-shirt-475x350
Image from Google

I had the same struggle, after all the pain, all the sacrifices I made to lose 40kg, I just assumed that somehow maybe fat would recognise and respect the hustle and stay off no matter what I decided to eat. So yes, I know how it feels like to believe that you deserve to eat the whole world just because you have reached your goal weight or reached something that remotely looks like your goal weight. After all, you have worked your ass off for the last year, don’t you deserve a break? Won’t you get a treat once in a while? But that is where we miss it. We do not add weight from eating one cheat meal and as a Certified former fat girl, I am the last person you want to be dishonest to. During our assessment sessions, I would hear things like

Client: I only had Icecream and cake at a party on Saturday! I don’t know what is going on, i hear losing weight is easier than maintaining

Me: Is that ALL you had that made you add 5kg?

Client: Well, I had burger and fries on Saturday night, very small, I shared with my hubby. I also had coke in the afternoon

Me: Okay, what time?

Client: Around 1am, we went out on a date and the food was not enough, we were still hungry

Me: What did you have for dinner?

Client: Pasta, grilled chicken and cheese cake

Me: So you had dinner as pasta, grilled chicken and cheese cake and still had coke and a burger… asides breakfast and lunch?

Client: Yes

Me: Did you work out this week

Client: Erm… not reallyyy. I worked out briefly on Monday

Me: Describe briefly

Client: like 100 skips, I woke up late

The end

Like I mentioned earlier, no one adds weight from one cheat meal, except the cheat meal is an entire restaurant. I always tell anyone I work with, if you can not be 100% with yourself and who ever you hire to help you reach your goal, the only person you are deceiving is yourself.

Life is not as complicated as we make it seem. What you give is what you get. If you plant grapefruit you will not harvest yam. If you eat anyhow, just enjoy the moment oh but please be ready for the results.

Being slim, fit, healthy or whatever it is that is your motivation for losing weight, it is not a destination, it is a lifetime journey. It is okay to have treats once in a while, but when your treats become daily or almost daily affair, you have switched to self sabotage mode.

The only way to free yourself is to be 100% honest and to grow your will to rise above your legitimate excuses.

Until next time, stay healthy